My thoughts about my life being Gay

Just looking back at what I have done in my Gay life, it seems that the only thing I am known for is how well I looked in drag. Not the fact I was a lonely soul who needed love. All my life that is all I wanted is true love of course Real love never found me, many Gay men look for love in sex but sex is just that a self release of pain that love will never come. I think that the sad thing is if you really look at the gay life style you will see the hunt of love is the only hope we have. Maybe I have made the right choice in throwing the towel in by never falling for those three words again I love you is thrown around to much, no one ever means it and they take a part of you each time they try to prove it, since love has never found me I have made up my mind to serve God at least he says what he means and doesn’t take it back over and over man kind is one disappointment after another. When I first became Gay I was hopeful but now I just feel it was a waist of time. All the drinking to numb the feelings of lose and then waking up next to some guy who wants money for spending the night not even caring that you might be the right person for them, but yet that get the money the next time you see them they treat you as if you never met this is what being gay is. Endless nights of searching for the one person then to find out no one will ever love the real you. Then the amount of money you go throw trying impress others one just has to love one’s self and never let the shallow minded people who think they are so great well they are not. People in general are all about self the love that you should have should have no strings attached, do not try to change the one you love take them for who they make you feel like. Happiness comes from with in. As I have found through out my life in the gay community most people are hiding their hurt wondering if the person they are with are cheating on them instead of grasping the moment the fact that gays want the right to merry shows that they do want to change from with in them self to be more like straight people we to want commitment to each other to love just one person well that day ever come now I know that straight people are trying to find a way turn back the new law so we will go back to our miserable life of trying to get what they have but we as humans need to back off of each other leave well enough alone, no one person is perfect and let the powers that be take the handle (God) man needs to let him do his job. Don’t try to think if you get the thoughts of God because if we could no one would be here.

fact of Gods words

One thousand years before and after Jesus there, were many books written, about? Jesus in point the childhood of Jesus as well as his teen years. Many of these books were band by the early Church some spoke on his many childhood growing we will say ups and downs even though Jesus was in fact the child of God even he tested the waters of what he could get away through. Joseph his earthly father reported a time were Jesus was in fact a very out spoken child. At the time of his birth he knew he was the son of God. At one point Jesus on the Sabbath were seen making blue birds out of the earth. When he was told that this was against the Jewish law he let the birds fly away. Thin there was a time that a childhood friend who was playing on the roof when the young man fell off the roof and died when Jesus brought him back to life Jesus as the young man did I push you off the roof? The young man stated no. Joseph his earthly father said to Jesus we have been trying to keep you alive ever since you were born the King of Rome wanted you dead. A man named Morison who was a religion man he took everything in our Bible then he read the Jewish Bible and found the God that was in the Jewish Bible was mean and a Jealous God and not the God that Jesus taught about. Jesus taught of passion and love not hell and damnation. There were over twenty four books that were left out of the cannon of our Bible that we know second and third letter of John as well as the second letter of Peter as well as the secret teachings of Mark at one point in Mark it tells of Jesus Raising a young man of 19 years old who was dead that Jesus brought back to life, In the fourth Chapter of Mark it reads that this young man fell in love with Jesus. Showed up late at night. Wearing nothing but a sheet. They spent the night together then it go’s to another part of the city but what happened. Now I’ am not saying anything happened sexually but we as humans do not know if sex will be in heaven. And every time Jesus said I am doing my fathers work it seemed that Joseph and his mother Marry kept stopping him we as human have the defiance to protect our children but Jesus know from the start who he was and what his job was. He was to be born grow and teach his fathers word the right way since the priest were not doing it right just like today every priest has there own out look on what is written. Jesus knew he was to dye and when he was teaching his disciples they wanted a fighter to take on the Romans and save them but that was not what Jesus had in mind. There is an old saying you can draw more flies with Honey than with salt. This mean Loves concurs all but man of to day still have not learned. What Jesus Taught they keep putting there own thoughts into what Jesus Taught instead of listing to what God (Jesus) said they are not God, Man need to but out and let God do his job man is not to judge man if you keep it up we will never get the chance to see heaven. Let the lord do what he has said he would.

King James Bible

CORENTHIANS 6

1 ¶ Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?
2 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
3 Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?
4 If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.
5 I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?
6 But brother go’ th to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers.
7 Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?
8 Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.
9 ¶ Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
12 ¶ All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
14 And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power.
15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Disabled Actors

Disability Actors
Written By Sandie Crisp
There are more than 600 Disabled actors in the guild but not even a third of them are working, The Guild keep taking our money but never help us get work or even agents . The so called A list has monopolized the entire business no one under the A list can get the breaks they pay into the Union for . How many of you get Voice over work this is were you speak and are not seen, I would guess non of you. Even get a chance or are sent out for the job. The Union takes and takes but do they even do anything for the disabled Performers? I have sent my Head shoot to All the Agents on the list and not one will sign me I can sing , Act, voice ( Spanish, Italian, French, ) but yet I do not get an Agent. Tell me has the business come to the point that greed, is all they want not Talent every time I go to A union meeting we get A twenty minutes of talking about our pension and what the stock market is doing Acting is not about the stock market. It is about talent, most of us well never see any money from a Pension, the stock market is not everything in life and I do not feel it has anything in the acting business. We pay into the union to work not to keep going to meeting just to hear about were we are in getting our pension. We are in the business to and we as actors want the same chance to work as any one. On Glee there is a person in a wheelchair who doesn’t need it why can’t a real disabled person play that part? We as disabled performers need to stick together and stand up to the producers of these shows and tell them we want to work! We do not want to be on Government assisted we want the chance and expect the same chance to do so.



Thank You
Sandie Crisp

Spiritual Reckoning

Written By Rev. Sandie Crisp


Many of you think that just because you are saved that is all you need , No there is more. As a Christian you must see the power of the cross , When Jesus spoke to his disciples , he said who I am sending you someone who will Baptize you with fire . Well the Holy spirit is in fact the spirit of God (Jesus) to many people think it is just a spirit we have so see that God is still trying to talking to us . Now days ago the US military burned the Koran the Koran is in fact their version of the Bible I have read the Koran and it the same thing as our Bible . Today on SBN one of the teachers John Rosensteren said that the Koran was a fiction book Witch is not true it is their version of the Bible .I Feel that the world need to wake up the military doesn’t care if it is the Bible or any other religious book if they can cause conflict the only thing they want to do is to make people mad at the US. We need to let the leaders know if we want our religious freedoms thin we must let others , have theirs . The United States needs to respect others and as for our preachers they need to read other books other than the English version of the Bible . Jesus went to other lands after the crucifixion not just in the Eastern part of the world, Jesus went through out the world he appeared to all the land. He appeared to the antics as well as the Indians , speck about the great spirit early Hawaiian spoke of a grand spirit we must realize Jesus did not just speck to one race of people if you understand Jesus is God in the flesh he went out and told people about how he wanted us to act . Religion is just that they made Jesus into a business Christ is not , a thing to make money off of the church collects more money then the United States in come tax . And they are under a non- profit then why are they selling books CD Tapes and they make money. And while they preach they tell people how to vote on what is on the ballot Under the 501 C 3 IT states not to speak on anything that deals with any state issue the church is always trying to speak why isn’t the secretary of state. The church need to under stand that they are to preach on the word of God and stop Bragging on what they do ( Jesus ) said not to be a braggarts you are to be humble . Jesus did not go around telling people look what I did over in Cannon or any other part of the region He ( Jesus) did his fathers work with out prays Jesus only wanted you to love him and to realized that he is God. It says in Malachi we are to preach the gospel for free and to help others by giving to those who are poor! Not make a buck off of the word of God ….

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one of my memories

Back in the Eighties I was one of the West Hollywood Club Kids , Back thin we had the oddyssie bar It was like Los Angeles Answer to Club 54 we had every one from the Hollwood Starr makers to the stars them selfies. It was one of those night I saw A person who broke my heart Kristy MacNichols who I was in love with as a child. I just started working there when see came in with her girlfriend they sat down and asked for a drink, I told Kristy That I would not sever her she asked why? I told her do you remember me she said no why sould I Took off my wig and said back when I was sixteen you gave me a wrong number. I tried to call you , but I guess I was not good enough for her to even be a friend. Thats when I knew Hollywood was unkind to people like me. Soon after that I meet her brother who told me her problem she only liked women well I told him I wanted to be a women, All my friends were transexuals. My mother said thats why you want to be one of those kind of people She said God dose'nt make misstakes he gave me two boys I tryed to tell her it has nothing to do with God I have known since I was 4 years old. So did my Grandmother when she tryed to tell my mother she called my grandmother crasy, you see my mother did not want to be wrong. So When People make fun of me and treat me like I am Not as good as them I say I was born the same way you were and I AM going to die the same way.