My thoughts about my life being Gay

Just looking back at what I have done in my Gay life, it seems that the only thing I am known for is how well I looked in drag. Not the fact I was a lonely soul who needed love. All my life that is all I wanted is true love of course Real love never found me, many Gay men look for love in sex but sex is just that a self release of pain that love will never come. I think that the sad thing is if you really look at the gay life style you will see the hunt of love is the only hope we have. Maybe I have made the right choice in throwing the towel in by never falling for those three words again I love you is thrown around to much, no one ever means it and they take a part of you each time they try to prove it, since love has never found me I have made up my mind to serve God at least he says what he means and doesn’t take it back over and over man kind is one disappointment after another. When I first became Gay I was hopeful but now I just feel it was a waist of time. All the drinking to numb the feelings of lose and then waking up next to some guy who wants money for spending the night not even caring that you might be the right person for them, but yet that get the money the next time you see them they treat you as if you never met this is what being gay is. Endless nights of searching for the one person then to find out no one will ever love the real you. Then the amount of money you go throw trying impress others one just has to love one’s self and never let the shallow minded people who think they are so great well they are not. People in general are all about self the love that you should have should have no strings attached, do not try to change the one you love take them for who they make you feel like. Happiness comes from with in. As I have found through out my life in the gay community most people are hiding their hurt wondering if the person they are with are cheating on them instead of grasping the moment the fact that gays want the right to merry shows that they do want to change from with in them self to be more like straight people we to want commitment to each other to love just one person well that day ever come now I know that straight people are trying to find a way turn back the new law so we will go back to our miserable life of trying to get what they have but we as humans need to back off of each other leave well enough alone, no one person is perfect and let the powers that be take the handle (God) man needs to let him do his job. Don’t try to think if you get the thoughts of God because if we could no one would be here.

fact of Gods words

One thousand years before and after Jesus there, were many books written, about? Jesus in point the childhood of Jesus as well as his teen years. Many of these books were band by the early Church some spoke on his many childhood growing we will say ups and downs even though Jesus was in fact the child of God even he tested the waters of what he could get away through. Joseph his earthly father reported a time were Jesus was in fact a very out spoken child. At the time of his birth he knew he was the son of God. At one point Jesus on the Sabbath were seen making blue birds out of the earth. When he was told that this was against the Jewish law he let the birds fly away. Thin there was a time that a childhood friend who was playing on the roof when the young man fell off the roof and died when Jesus brought him back to life Jesus as the young man did I push you off the roof? The young man stated no. Joseph his earthly father said to Jesus we have been trying to keep you alive ever since you were born the King of Rome wanted you dead. A man named Morison who was a religion man he took everything in our Bible then he read the Jewish Bible and found the God that was in the Jewish Bible was mean and a Jealous God and not the God that Jesus taught about. Jesus taught of passion and love not hell and damnation. There were over twenty four books that were left out of the cannon of our Bible that we know second and third letter of John as well as the second letter of Peter as well as the secret teachings of Mark at one point in Mark it tells of Jesus Raising a young man of 19 years old who was dead that Jesus brought back to life, In the fourth Chapter of Mark it reads that this young man fell in love with Jesus. Showed up late at night. Wearing nothing but a sheet. They spent the night together then it go’s to another part of the city but what happened. Now I’ am not saying anything happened sexually but we as humans do not know if sex will be in heaven. And every time Jesus said I am doing my fathers work it seemed that Joseph and his mother Marry kept stopping him we as human have the defiance to protect our children but Jesus know from the start who he was and what his job was. He was to be born grow and teach his fathers word the right way since the priest were not doing it right just like today every priest has there own out look on what is written. Jesus knew he was to dye and when he was teaching his disciples they wanted a fighter to take on the Romans and save them but that was not what Jesus had in mind. There is an old saying you can draw more flies with Honey than with salt. This mean Loves concurs all but man of to day still have not learned. What Jesus Taught they keep putting there own thoughts into what Jesus Taught instead of listing to what God (Jesus) said they are not God, Man need to but out and let God do his job man is not to judge man if you keep it up we will never get the chance to see heaven. Let the lord do what he has said he would.