Just looking back at what I have done in my Gay life, it seems that the only thing I am known for is how well I looked in drag. Not the fact I was a lonely soul who needed love. All my life that is all I wanted is true love of course Real love never found me, many Gay men look for love in sex but sex is just that a self release of pain that love will never come. I think that the sad thing is if you really look at the gay life style you will see the hunt of love is the only hope we have. Maybe I have made the right choice in throwing the towel in by never falling for those three words again I love you is thrown around to much, no one ever means it and they take a part of you each time they try to prove it, since love has never found me I have made up my mind to serve God at least he says what he means and doesn’t take it back over and over man kind is one disappointment after another. When I first became Gay I was hopeful but now I just feel it was a waist of time. All the drinking to numb the feelings of lose and then waking up next to some guy who wants money for spending the night not even caring that you might be the right person for them, but yet that get the money the next time you see them they treat you as if you never met this is what being gay is. Endless nights of searching for the one person then to find out no one will ever love the real you. Then the amount of money you go throw trying impress others one just has to love one’s self and never let the shallow minded people who think they are so great well they are not. People in general are all about self the love that you should have should have no strings attached, do not try to change the one you love take them for who they make you feel like. Happiness comes from with in. As I have found through out my life in the gay community most people are hiding their hurt wondering if the person they are with are cheating on them instead of grasping the moment the fact that gays want the right to merry shows that they do want to change from with in them self to be more like straight people we to want commitment to each other to love just one person well that day ever come now I know that straight people are trying to find a way turn back the new law so we will go back to our miserable life of trying to get what they have but we as humans need to back off of each other leave well enough alone, no one person is perfect and let the powers that be take the handle (God) man needs to let him do his job. Don’t try to think if you get the thoughts of God because if we could no one would be here.